One Last Goodbye
by Xellion
Summary: This could be their last chance. Their last chance at love, together. It all begins here. Would they both sacrifice everything, just for a One Last Goodbye? RoyxEd yaoi Don't like, Don't read!
1. Fade

**A/N: So this is my first fanfic in some time. It's been about seven years since one brought out the need in me to write...that feeling of being so compelled. Go FMA, you did this to me XD. This fic contains lyrics to a song that touched me the most. It's based off a current favorite of mine called "One Last Goodbye" by Anathema. By the way I do NOT own Full Metal Alchemist or the lyrics to One Last Goodbye and I'm not making any money off of them, so there you have it. Now read away my fellow RoyxEd LOVERS!!!**

**One Last Goodbye**

**Chapter One - Fade**

He just couldn't believe it, his mind was still whirling with doubt, and no matter how he tried...and God did he try...there wasn't any way of avoiding the events that had taken place between him and a boy named Edward. He'd left Roy, left him for good. He'd never see that prodigy again. The thought sickened him, and he wasn't sure why. Could he...have _feelings_? The Flame Alchemist? Yes, he felt and right now his heart was wrenching and tightening in his chest. His stomach twisting and rolling.

He felt like he wanted to die, that would have been easier than trying to breathe at the moment. Not to mention he was angry too. Ed had given him a pretty mediocre goodbye. A slap on the hand, what the hell? After all Roy had done for him...After all the trouble that shrimp had caused him, he couldn't even shake the Lieutenant Colonel's hand. That wasn't enough for Roy, no, it could never have been enough. He wanted Ed, in a way a commanding officer shouldn't..

He knew their age difference...and well...Edward probably didn't even feel the same, how could he? Roy hadn't really shown any signs of affection toward the younger alchemist. Not a single adoration other than general concern, he'd been careful not to. He wanted to tell Ed himself, but now he'd waited all too long...his stomach took another turn...what the hell was going on with him? He cared all too much, and now he would wait...he would wait for eternity if that's what it took, because he refused to fall in love again.

_How I needed you...how I grieved...now you're gone..._

_In my dreams, I see you...I awake...so alone..._

_I know you didn't mean to leave,_

_Your heart yearned to stay..._

_But the strength I always loved in you..._

_finally gave away.._

Ed trudged through the mud, his boots covered in it, it had been raining all day and he hadn't been outside until now. It was dark, but he could see that the clouds were beginning to brake apart, showing an eerie crescent moon in the distance. Something about that was beautiful though. His thoughts wandered on many things, mostly on the Colonel. Who seemed to be intruding his every waking thought the past few months.

He considered the idea that he might have a crush on the older man, but the thought itself was entirely ridiculous. There was no way he could have feelings for another man, or for THAT man to be more specific. Or maybe Edward was just avoiding the truth, as usual. He didn't want to except that he might have a tiny crush on Mustang. Or the fact that it wasn't tiny. In reality his heart fluttered every time he saw him.

His breath hitched when the other man spoke to him, and he always felt quite nervous too. Perhaps that was why he always ended up acting like a jack ass. He couldn't help himself, it was easy to be angry, too keep his guard up. So many bad things haunted him that he wasn't sure if he could give his heart away. At the same time he yearned for nothing more than to let go. To be rid of all the anticipation.

_Some how I knew, you would leave me this way..._

_...Some how I knew, you could never..._

_Never stay._

_And in the early morning light, _

_After a silent, peaceful night..._

_You took my heart away...(and I grieved)_


	2. A Memory

**A/N: Okay so I am really hating my parents right now, this would have been done YESTERDAY, except they decided to rearrange the whole freaking house. So my typing time went bye-bye. And here I am a day late having to poof this out of nowhere. Luckily for those of you who give a damn about my corny FMA fanfic I actually know where I'm going with it. It has yet to get an ending by I basically have it worked out. Also. I'm currently pondering over doing some one-shots too. We'll see. **

**One Last Goodbye**

**Chapter Two – A Memory**

Rain pattered against the window, again. A blond figure sat at a small desk peering out into the dark gloomy night. His chin rested in the palm of his flesh hand, his automail arm rested on the mahogany desk. He ignored the album of photos sitting next to him. Edward felt flustered inside, his heart racing again, he'd run across a photo he could have lived without seeing. Up until a few minutes ago he hadn't even known it existed or how it had gotten there.

"Brother?" Upon hearing Al's gentle voice he turned to him, smiling at the sight of the younger alchemist. Who was no longer in a clunky suit of armor, and hadn't been for some time now. "What are you looking at?"

"These old photos." Regrettably he handed over the album. "Just where did you heist those photos of Mustang any way?" the younger Elric simply shrugged his shoulders.

"Why do you want to know?"

"I don't!" Edward said defensively "I could care less about that ass-hat any way!"

"I wasn't implying anything. I was merely speculating."

"Well stop it. It's annoying, not to mention rude." He gestured for Alphonse to hand over the album, who obeyed without question.

"When are you going to tell him?"

"What are you talking about? Tell him what? There's nothing to say...I already said my goodbyes..."

_In my dreams _

_I can see you..._

_I awake so alone._

Roy fumbled around in his kitchen for something. It was important. Maybe not important for any one else, but it was for him. Finally he threw open a random cabinet, and inside lay the object for which he'd yearned.

"Aha! You sly devil, thought you could out wit ol' Mustang." Of course he only spoke to the bottle of Scotch that awaited him. It's honey colored contents not only beckoned that he drink them...they reminded him, of those eyes...eyes that bore into his mind...and intruded upon his dreams and sanity. He poured himself a glass and quickly drank it down. It's fiery liquid burned his throat. Only something this bad, could feel so good. He missed his Haganeno(1) . but none of that really mattered now. Edward was on the other side of the gate. And he was NEVER coming back.

A realization hit Mustang from nowhere. It had been in plain sight, even now. A feeling boiled in his stomach, and he recognized it instantly...excitement. He wanted to see Edward's face again, it would be worth it...even if he died.

_In my dreams _

_I can hold you,_

_And it feels so real._

Edward stretched out his limbs while yawning. His brother had left some time ago, having given up on getting any actual answers out of Ed. Ed was happy to have him out of his presence for a while. He didn't need some one else in on his private thoughts. He flipped open the album again, shamefully knowing which page held the face of the Flame Alchemist. His timeless smirk and deep blue, almost black eyes forced themselves into Edward's receptive memory.

So many times...he could have told him...not like it would have made any difference or impact on any one. After all, he was pretty sure that Mustang was heartless. He sighed before taking the picture out. He reached to his nightstand and grabbed a frame. Ironically, it was empty, as if it's only duty in life was to hold that beautiful Colonel. And Edward wondered for a moment if it had been placed there by Alphonse, who knew his brother better than Ed knew himself.

He opened up the back of it, finding a small piece of paper inside, on it words had been hastily written. _'Your feelings for the Colonel have always been obvious, brother. Even to me, I hope that you can come to terms with them and one day admit the truth. Alphonse'. _He couldn't help but smile, it was a thoughtful gesture. At long last, he set the picture inside and shut the back of it. He turned it over, to stare at those dark eyes again. He then set it on the nightstand with various others before clicking off the lamp and falling fast asleep.

_I still feel the pain._

_(I still feel the pain)_

_I still feel your love_

_(I still feel your love)_

**A/N: For those of you not Japanese savvy Haganeno just means "Fullmetal". I prefer using it. I dunno why. I think it's pretty obvious what Roy's gonna do, crazy bastard. Any way your reviews are welcome, and I know it's short, it's always going to be short, because I'm doing other stuff too, hehe. OH! And you people should totally check out my deviant Art website, I have a RoyxEd fanart piece there. I told you FMA corrupted me, I TOLD YOU!!!! There's a link(the homepage link) in my profile, GO NOW! I'm just kidding you don't have to go is a total spaz **


	3. A Moments Notice

**A/N: Finally the third chapter sheesh. And I'm so happy that I've gotten reviews!!! Thank you all so much! I would glomp you, if I could. I figured since my last update took about a week I'd insert this one earlier. And for those of you who wandered onto my deviantART page I will have a new RoyxEd fan art up on the 24****th****. Hopefully. Coz I have big plans for that piece and hopefully it'll turn out. We have yet to see. Any minute now, I'm going to run out of lyrics to insert and from that point on I will continue the fic but not the song piece since it'll be finished. But the last verse will probably show up again. So keep that in mind. Onward!**

**Chapter Three – A Moments Notice.**

Roy looked at his phone, and it sat there looking back at him if it could. He wasn't entirely sure why he was staring at it. He'd always been able to make up his mind before, but what he was about to do would be considered insanity even by those not in their right mind. Perhaps Roy had all his lights on, but nobody was home. Maybe, just maybe...he really was crazy. And if he was, it surely wasn't his fault. Love did this to him. Or starvation of it, rather. He always had the affection of women showered on him but they didn't really interest him. They were too easy. Edward ignored his very presence, detested it. Snorted in disgust when he entered the room, ran his mouth off to put space between himself and the colonel. And a part of him wondered, why. Did he have something to hide from Roy? Certainly this was worth investigation. This granted him reason. It was good enough. There would be no goodbye this time. He was tired of waiting, it was time to take action, time to be irrational. He picked up the phone for what was about the seventh time and dialed. He listened with impatience, and growled at every ring that met his ear.

"First Lt. Hawkeye, speaking."

"Finally! Were you on a permanent coffee break?"

"I apologize, sir. What was it that you needed?"

"The portal. It's still opened correct?"

"We have had no success in closing it, sir."

"Good. I plan on making my way through it." He knew he must've shocked her, for nothing but dead silence met his ears. "I'm counting on you to take me to it."

"yes." The call ended quietly. He was sure that Riza had an opinion on the situation. But even after all this time he knew she wouldn't dare voice it. He was glad she was an intelligent woman, one who would not stand in his way to get what he wanted. Roy pondered about what his reunion with Edward would be like. Considering he got through the portal unscathed. Perhaps it would go something to the tune of this:

"Hello Edward."  
"What the hell are you doing here Colonel jackass?!"  
"Well. I love you."

"That's absurd!"  
"Is it?"  
"You're right. It isn't. I love you too." Then he would kiss the boy, perhaps take him. Finally Roy sighed, his fantasy was just that. A day dream and nothing more. Edward would pretend to hate him, be angry with him for days...even weeks if he came through that portal. But it was what must be done, what had to be done, to ensure a fitting future.

_I still feel the pain.  
(I still feel the pain)  
I still feel your love._

"I'm getting sick of looking at this portal, Alphonse. When the hell is it going to close?"

"I'm not sure, brother. I don't have the answers." Edward sighed, that wasn't the response he wanted. And he really was tired of looking at it. Or having to bare witness to all the memories that came with it. For a while he slipped into his thoughts, all of which contained Roy. He cursed himself for thinking about it, yet all too soon he gave into them. It wasn't like any one could read his thoughts any way. He wanted to know what it would be like...to be kissed by that man, what he would smell like. Or to feel those deceptive hands taunt him in ways he couldn't even imagine. A shudder went through him, breaking him away from his thoughts. He knew he was being hopeless, and yet hope filled him again, when Alphonse spoke.

"Brother!"

"What is it?"

"Something is coming through the portal!"

"Who would dare use it?" his mind faltered. And whirred for a moment. Now he was wishing, with all his young heart. That is was Mustang coming through it. That is was Mustang who would risk his life...his physical mental and spiritual well-being for Ed. His heart beat against his chest so rapidly, he felt sick. And just as he was thinking of all the reasons Mustang wouldn't attempt such a frivolous feat a tall figure came through.

_And some how I knew..._

_...you could never, _

_Never stay_

_And some how I knew..._

_...you would leave me,_

_This way._

Roy looked like he fought off a couple drunken brutes. His hair and military uniform were a mess, and he hadn't shaved in a while either. He took a few staggering, unsteady steps toward the two baffled brothers before mumbling something about Edward and passing out. "What the hell?" Edward's mind was spinning out of control, he could hardly restrain his thoughts and emotions from colliding together. But for the sake of his sanity, or what he had left of it, he shut himself down. He wouldn't allow this image of Roy, hurt him, not yet. Not until he was alone. For that moment, he was without feeling, long enough to tell his brother to get a medic, **Now**.

**A/N: well I officially hate it. Lemme know if it 's worth continuing. Because honestly, I'm not happy at all with the wording or choice of grammar. Toodles for now! **


	4. What's Left of Me

A/N: Since you guys were such good faithful reviewers I decided to type up and post the next chapter! Yaaaaay! Time to party! All right Kakashi'sGirl101 left a comment about the portal. So I thought I'd answer that directly. I believe at the end of the Conqueror of Shamballa the portal was still open between the two worlds. That's how I remember it. I should probably watch it again to make sure. But any who, Roy was able to make his way through it. I know it's weird because the first chapter makes it seem like I started after the "Farewell" episode, with that one memorable gesture from Edward. And originally that's what I started with, so I hope that it didn't confuse a bundle of you. Basically One Last Goodbye was meant to be a one-shot. But for some reason I felt it shouldn't. Any way, I'm rambling, on with it!

_And in the early morning light,_

_...After a silent peaceful night_

_...You took my heart away_

_I wish, _

_...I wish you could have stayed._

His face was stained with tears, eyes red from crying his heart out. He looked at himself in the mirror, a mess. Edward was a complete disaster. It had taken him the time of an hour to finally pull himself together. He took a damp cloth and washed his face. All the while swearing that he'd rip Roy from limb to limb. Ed sighed heavily before pulling his hair into a tight ponytail. As much as he wanted to avoid the situation, as badly as he yearned to hide away, he could not. This man had been haunting his mind since their departure and he wouldn't be able to stand it much longer. For He was sure to go insane.

Alas, he made his way out of the bathroom, down the corridor of the hospital its white walls and peaceful paintings sickened him. So he walked faster, locating Roy's room with ease. To his displeasure Roy was fast asleep. Only the sound of the heart monitor was proof that he, was in fact, alive. As annoyed as he was, Edward reached over and caressed the colonel's soft pale hand. His heart quickened but he disguised it with angry.

"You idiot," he spoke, to no one in particular as he was sure Roy could sleep through anything. Even the end of the world. "I can't believe you would do that. I'm not…..I'm not."

"Not what?" a hoarse voice came from the body on the bed, upon hearing it Edward released the man's hand and screamed in out rage.

"Roy?! What the hell?! You're insane, do you know that?!"

"Yeah? What else is new?" his dark eyes were open now, and he slowly sat up, not expressing even an ounce of the pain he felt. "Where am I?"

"You're in a hospital, _Colonel Jackass_."

"Hmm, I should have figured that. Now what were you saying?"

"Nothing. You don't deserve to know."

"Wait…Let me get this right. I spent all that time….waiting for your return…You come back…leave….and then….and then, I go through that **forsaken** portal and here we are some how I'm not dead…but you, Edward….**you**. In your eyes, it's still not enough."

"I'm not the one who told you to go through it!!! I would have been **perfectly fine** without YOU!"

"Maybe, because if it weren't for me…you would not have shed any tears today." The Colonel looked bemused when the other's eyes widened considerably. He was too damn smart, too perceptive.

"I was saying…"he began to speak, his golden orbs traveling to the floor in shame "that I'm not special."

"Why would you say that?"

"I don't know, maybe because it's true." Roy wanted to tell him otherwise, to convince him that it simply wasn't true. But his tongue seemed tied.

"You shouldn't have come here. You should have waited."

"For what?" Yes, for what? This internal calamity? This wild rage of silenced emotions? Emotions that had been rising and falling since.

...since…

That dreaded evaluation. He'd seen to it from that moment on that Edward would remain alive. His feelings growing, but always pushed away. Forgotten, placed into the deepest corner of his mind. Until now. Restlessness had ceased Roy, memories raced through him, he yearned for new ones. Everything was boiling to the surface now. Both males felt it, but neither made a move. Only silence. Only the constant beep of that annoying heart monitor. The noises steady and constant, like the ticking of a clock. The door creaked open, causing both of them to jump. Naturally it was just a nurse.

"Well everything is just fine Mr. Mustang. If you could just fill out these forms we'll have you out in no time!" She handed the sheets on a clipboard before scurrying off. Roy's eyes shifted to Edward, who was snickered.

"_Mister Mustang_? That sounds ridiculous!!"

"Well you would probably like it better if every one called me King Jerk-Face."

"The world would be perfect then."

**Review responses for Chapter 3**

**ed'sgirl10310**** : And I will do so if you say so!!!! Thanks, I'm so glad you're taking the time to drop by, it's much appreciated!!! **

**Daeleniel Shadowphyre**** : That's totally awesome! In fact, I'm amazed a lot of people added it to their author alert. That makes me so happy!!! I will update as soon and as often as I can. But keep in mind I am without connection for the time being. **

**anmbcuconnfan**** : well thank you. I'm glad I have some other opinions on this thing. And if you all think it's interesting than I will continue. But I can promise. There will be drama. I'm a dramatic person :F.**

**EmoNekoNinja**** : EEP!! Hai! An update!! Hehe . I'm so glad you're into it, I was really scared about putting this fic out there. My regular stories never do any good on Fiction press ;;. Aw well. Thanks for the review!!**

**And for the previous reviewers, I thank you. This fic would be nothing without your reviews, I think I personally responded to a few of them, but if I haven't lemme know and I'd be more than happy to comply. THANK YOU!!!!!!**


	5. Once, all our dreams were worth keeping

**A/N: Another surprise for my lovlies!!!! I wrote this in my spare time, again it's really short. I wish I could make them longer, but it stops as soon as I run out of things for them to say. Any way I have another surprise for you to make up for it I have a link in my profile to a RoyxEd fanart I made. Go. GO NOW!!!. It's awesomeness, at least I think it is. But I'm insane. Any way on with the fic!**

The next week dragged on like a snail. Right after Roy had been released from the hospital Alphonse opened his big polite mouth and invited the colonel to _stay_ with them. Edward was sure to be doomed, as extremely vivid sexual dreams had been haunting him for too long. Oddly, he preferred them to his nightmares. But not while the man he dreamt of slept in the room next door.

Needless to say, Edward tried his damnedest not to fall asleep. But between research and Roy's constant presence, it was a meager feat. He proceeded to wake up in the middle of the night, finding that he had passed out on the desk. His body, hot and sweaty. His mind still reeling from his fantasies. Edward had to take a few cold showers to remedy the situation, at three am in the morning.

Thinking about this frustrated him when it was time again to sleep. A whole week of intense sexual agony had left the Fullmetal feeling tortured. He had no idea how long this would plague him, but without a doubt he detested it. Edward laid down on his bed, clicking off the light, having already forgotten about Roy's picture. It's ageless eyes pointed at him as he slept.

The hours passed silently in the room next door as Roy stared at the ceiling. He was in a pair of silky pajamas, the Elrics had been nice enough to let him purchase some clothing. He had yet to find a suitable time. There was something about the accessory that intrigued him. It was simple and elegant, and could say a lot about a person. But he couldn't seem to find _the one_. He also didn't know why that bothered him.

He finally sat up, running his hands through his hair. His gaze moved to the wall that separated the two rooms. He thought, for a moment, that he'd heard his name being…_moaned_. Surely, he'd have been absolutely foolish to have heard something like that. Of all things, lastly to be moaned and definitely not from that room's only occupant. Edward. He simply was hearing things.

Or so he thought. Until that sultry sound filled the air again. Roy threw the blankets off and marched into the room, the blonde laid there panting. The black-haired male was cautious, he wasn't sure if Ed was sleeping or…doing…other things..But alas, he lay still, his breathing soothed for now. Roy sighed in relief.

A reflection caught his eyes. There, on Edward's desk set a collection of pictures. All of them caught the light of the full moon spilling in from the open window. He went over to them, quietly. He knew he was invading Ed's privacy, but he didn't care. He was gathering proof. Proof that would decide his next move. To Roy, life was nothing more than a game of chess and Ed was the opposing team's King. He must capture him. Even if has to risk all his pieces to do it.

Surprise filled him. How the photo was attained was beyond him. Even more heart-stopping…what was it doing next to Edward? Roy placed it back and decided he couldn't allow himself to hope like that. The boy felt nothing for him. Correction. Edward Elric, who was now a man, felt nothing for him. The picture was a coincidence. There were others too. Mostly of Edward and his brother at various times of the lives. He was about to take his leave when the other sat straight up, panting again.

"Damn it…" he murmured, not taking notice of Mustang's obvious presence. "when will this stop….?"

"You should see a doctor about that."

"What the hell?! What are **you **doing in **my** room?! GET OUT!!!!" Roy shrugged before walking to the door, he halted at it for only a moment to speak.

"Another thing, stop taking showers at 3 in the morning. Some of us need our sleep."

"It's not MY fault your OLD!!! Now get OUT!!!!!" Edward watched him make his way back to the guest room. To make sure he was in there, before taking another cold shower.

….

The next afternoon they were off to a specialty clothing store. Roy was in business suit heaven. Rows and rows upon button up shirts, slack pants in every imaginable color, polished shoes and ties. Loads upon loads of ties. Naturally he rushed to them. Exploring their intricate patterns proved to be an fascinating past time for him. The other two males watched as he carefully inspected each and every one of them. As they had been through this in several different store before this. They both had secret hopes that Roy would find the tie he wanted. Other wise they'd be forced to give up.

Edward walked up to Roy, taking the black and white tie he's been holding without explanation. Then, as if he was hypnotized, he chose out another. It was a light blue, pinned stripped diagonally to the left with every other shade of blue. Still he had not said a word, as he placed the tie against the collar of Roy's shirt. As if testing to see what it might look like if worn.

"Do you like that one?"

"Blue has always suited you."

"You think so?"

"Shut up." He shoved the tie into Roy's hands before stomping off to the shoe section, successfully hiding the blush on his face in doing so. Alphonse quickly caught up with his sibling, watching Roy carefully.

"Brother."

"What?!"

"He's buying it. We've been searching for a whole week for one of his approval. That has to mean something.

"It doesn't mean anything!!! It was a stupid tie!!!"

"Can't you read in-between the lines? He values your opinion."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"Why **else** would he buy it?"

"Because he's a self-loving, pompous, **MORON**!!! He'd use anything to make himself look good!"

"But he's choosing to look good for _you_."

"Whatever."

**A/N: OKIDOKI!!! Erm. Yeah I have yet to explain that eye-patch incident. Err. We'll say that some how going through the portal fixed his eye some how. I dunno. Whatev. **

**Review responses for chapter Four.**

**SilverTiger14**** : Yeah. If you're reading this and still expecting long chapters, I'm sorry to disappoint you….I just can't force myself to keep writing on something when it's been talked to death. I try to keep things fresh and new. I hope it's not utterly bother some. **

**anmbcuconnfan**** : Well, here I am to surprise you again!!! XD. We should dance. Dance for the glory that is FMA.**

**Paon**** : Oh they have a long way from actually being together. I have much more drama planned for those two. Although they have yet to be aware of it. Mwahaha.**

**kashyuri**** : I'm so glad you think so!!! I hardly think it's awesome, hell I don't think it's any where NEAR that. It's just me, doing my thing. Any way thanks!!**

**Kakashi'sGirl101**** : Here's another to satisfy that endless craving of RoyxEd that can never be fulfilled. **

**EmoNekoNinja**** : Yes. The world would be perfect if every one called him King Jerk-Face. And if they made out ravenously . I would be the happiest fan girl EVAH!!! **


	6. How Was I To Know?

**A/N: I love you people. Did you know that? Well if you didn't now you do. I love ya. I love ya a million times over coz I'm going into my sixth chapter and I've received 22 reviews. Unfortunately I really don't have much to say at the moment. Except just that . XD**

Roy sat comfortably at the kitchen table, pretending to read a news paper while enjoying his coffee. He couldn't focus on the words in front of him. He was attempting to plan his next move. Now that he felt up to it, one way or another he would proceed. Getting Edward was proving to be a problem. He had no proof of the other's feelings. The tie incident had been miniscule. It wasn't enough.

"Good morning, Colonel."

"Alphonse, as much as I appreciate your courtesy, that rank means nothing here. Please call me Roy."

"I'd rather not."

"You look disgruntled."

"It would be impossible not to be."

"Is it Edward?" the other nodded quietly. His sibling had been in a mood ever since Roy's arrival. Being Edward's scapegoat was not a fun position, to say the least. "Was he this way before I arrived?"

"He seemed depressed. But now he's escalated to anger. I don't get it."

"What is there to get? I wouldn't think about it too hard, Alphonse. He's just being himself."

"If you say so." Roy thought some more, he needed a date in a nice secluded place. He needed to pin Edward, make sure he had no where else to run. Only then could he call out 'CHECKMATE!!'

"Are there any good restaurants around?"

"I honestly wouldn't know."

"I almost forgot, the two of you are shy beyond reason."

"I suppose that's true. Neither of u have dated any one. I'd say Edward is the luckier one though."

"What do you mean?" Mustang looked up from his paper, the younger Elric looked to be choosing his next words with care.

"He fell in love at a very young age. I envy him beaus I suspect that this person might harbor the same feelings for him."

"Really? I hope you're not jumping to conclusions. That would be a shame."

"Colonel. You came through that portal for a reason, didn't you?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. Who said I wasn't just looking for another easy way to kill myself?" Roy went back to reading just as Edward came wandering in. He stretched out his limbs, yawning. The blond caught a devious glance from the older man already seated at the table. Frankly he was still angry with him. Angry for a lot of reasons. They hadn't made any progress at all since their last encounter.

Roy was still masking himself behind smug smiles and smart ass comments. He hadn't changed, now that Ed thought about it. Every strand of hair was in it's place, his face cleanly shaven, and his button up shirt ironed and pressed. He looked good. Roy set down the paper, folding it neatly before meeting the other's gaze.

"Edward."

"What do you think you're going to accomplish by being here? Did you think I couldn't **handle** it? What was so utterly important that it couldn't wait? I mean honest-"

"This is hardly constructive. I didn't come here to badger any one," he interrupted "You're a adult now, yet you still insist on acting like a child. I knew you would fulfill your promise and close the gate, some how."

"Please, brother, you should listen to what the colonel has to say."

"Why? He hasn't said anything **good**." A sigh came from Roy when he stood to push in his chair. Things were going tp be more difficult than he had predicted.

"Alphonse, I would like to speak to your brother alone." The boy nodded and left as told. "I really wish you'd control your anger, just long enough to let me speak."

"What? What is there to say?"

"I was planning on taking you out."

"Like a date?"

"If you want to call it that. We've spent a lot of time apart, I was hoping to catch up."

"No." Edward rose from his chair, effectively slamming it into the table "I still don't think you deserve that."

"Its your choice."

"You always say that! Especially when you've got everything all planned out ahead of time. Life is not a game _Roy_. You can't toy around with peoples lives like it's make believe. Even if it was, you're not the one calling the shots. Well I'm through, do you understand?! I'm sick of your uptight behavior! Just go back to central and obey commands like the dog you are!!" he stormed out leaving Roy rather shocked.

He certainly hadn't expected **that.**

Edward sat on his bed, silently fuming like a volcano ready to burst. He was watching two birds on a tree just outside his window. Oddly enough one of them was small and yellow, the other considerably taller and black. The seemed so happy together, chirping and singing away as if there was no tomorrow. Stupid happy birds! They reminded him of Roy.

Which was a thought he didn't need. He was certain that Roy was incapable of feeling. And Ed was just a pawn, some one to be used and thrown away. Like every other partner Roy ever had. Why would the criteria change for him? It wouldn't. He was not a beautiful unique snowflake.

"Stupid birds GO AWAY!!!!" he grabbed Roy's picture and threw it out the window, causing the two birds to flutter away. The sound of glass breaking didn't alarm him, he'd been expecting it. Wanting it. Al came rushing in moments later, obviously in response to that very same sound. That unexplainable shatter. The broken pieces hitting the side walk, scraping it before they lay there for all of the world to see. "I'm sorry to scare you."

"What happened?"

"That ass-hat asked me out!!!"

"And you said yes, right?"

"NO!!! Why would I?! I'm not even like that!! I feel nothing for him!!! NOTHING!!!!"

"You're denying it!!!" Al peered out the window "I don't understand it, brother. You wanted this, more than anything. And now you're tearing it apart, just like you broke the Colonel's picture.. To save your pride?"

"It's not my pride, Al..."Ed walked over to his bed and gestured for Al to close the door. He did so and sat next to him "I'm trying to save myself from making another huge mistake...Maybe...maybe I do have feelings for him...but I can't risk it..."

"He would never hurt you.."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do."

"How? How do you know?"

"Because he loves you!" Alphonse clapped both of his hands over his mouth after realizing what he'd said. For a while they sat there in complete silence and shock. Edward reached forward and pulled his brother's hands down.

"**He what?!**"

"Shhh!! It's just a theory all right...but...you should see the way he looks at you. Like he's soaking up every detail."

"You're insane. I've never seen him look at **anyone** like that."

"Because you don't pay attention!!"

Naturally, they'd left Roy all by himself for quite a while. He'd heard them bickering in Ed's room for a good thirty minutes. He didn't know what it was about, but he had a feeling he was a part of it. He walked to Ed's door and knocked quietly. Immediately the two went silent before the door was opened. The three of them exchanged looks awkwardly.

"I heard you two quarreling."

"It's nothing Colonel!! Ed and I were just-"

"Just talking about you." He stood up and faced Roy "Look, Ill go on your stupid date. But it doesn't mean anything, got that?!"

"Sure, Edward. How does tomorrow night sound?"

"Yeah whatever." He shoved his way past Roy who followed curiously. Before he knew it, they were right outside the bedroom window. He watched Edward pick up a broken frame. He didn't have to look at it to know which picture it held. "I guess I've been stupid to you the past few days. I'm sorry. It's just hard for me to trust people. Especially you."

"I lied because you never stopped risking your life."

"But it's okay for you to do it? I stand by what I said, you should have waited for me. Even if it meant that I was never coming back." He watched Ed open up the back of the frame to pull out the picture and a scrap of paper. Their eyes met, and for the first time Ed witnessed for himself what his brother had been talking about. The Colonel was gazing, and not blankly. His eyes were studying intently, soaking in every detail. Like Ed would disappear any moment. "Roy, you can relax I'm not going to evaporate."

"I apologize...it's almost surreal, seeing you now. Feels like a dream." Edward walked over to him, and with his automail hand grabbed Roy's wrist tightly.

"It's not." He placed that very same piece of paper into the palm of Roy's hand before closing the fingers around it. "But it feels like one."

**A/N: LONGEST CHAPTER EVER!!!!! There was so much going on bleeeeh. And whoever guesses what that note says gets an imaginary sheep plushie and a million fake cool points. Which I will throw out the window at two very happy brids lol.**

**anmbcuconnfan: Yayness again. Happiness will continue to flourish XD**

**EmoNekoNinja: I hope you enjoyed this and my silly fanart. I have issues XF**

**Paon: This one's quite long. Longest yet. **

**Kakashi'sGirl101: Have I satisfied the RoyxEd moments need yet? XD. I think I know the answer.**


	7. A ThreeFold Utopian Dream

**A/N: I am so sorry this has taken so long. In Fact you'll probably want to kill me after this next announcement, it's going to be a while before the eighth chapter. I haven't even written it yet. With any luck it'll be up in about a week from now. But I am once again at odds about what to do with this thing. I hadn't really planned this far. I have a few ideas in my head but none of them sound any good. So here's another filler, with much date-ness going on. Perhaps later I'll throw some drama in, if I can come up with some.**

The night came, at long last. Roy had felt like the day had taken forever to get through. He still had yet to read that scrap of paper given to him. He knew it contained a secret. A secret hidden for many years, he almost felt he had to prepare himself for it. So he busied himself with getting dressed. Already he had showered and pulled on his pants. The door opened quietly and standing there was a very shocked Edward. The colonel was still very shirtless.

"I was just seeing...if you were..."

"Ready? Not quite, but I'm getting there. Don't get shy on me, we're both adults."

"Yeah...but..." Ed stuffed the rest of that sentence into the back of his mind. He already got himself into enough trouble. Besides, Roy's ego didn't need any help, the man was full of himself. "Never mind, I'll be in my room, when you're done." Roy shrugged and pulled on a dark blue button-up shirt.

He quickly fixated all the buttons and grabbed the tie he'd picked out. Looking at it made him smile, the memory that came with it was absolutely priceless. He neatly placed it under the collar, and flawlessly tied it. At last he slipped on his shoes and over coat. He checked himself in the mirror before making his way to Edward's room.

He knocked politely before entering, the blond answered quickly already looking flustered. Tonight would be interesting.

They sat across from each other outside of a quite restaurant. It was dark, and only a few dim lights and candles surrounded them. A few other couple sat around too, paying no attention to their existence. It was a good change of pace for Edward. No one was expecting anything from him. But to simply enjoy himself and his meal. The silence between himself and Roy was welcomed by the both of them. They didn't have any desires to continue arguing.

As it wasn't getting them anywhere. Edward looked up to see that Roy was reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a folded scrap of paper. His eyes widened when he realized what it was.

"You haven't read that yet?!"

"No. I wasn't sure what to expect, so I wanted to wait until it felt right. Whatever is hold must be important. It was hidden where no one else would find it." He unfolded it carefully only one line had been hastily scribbled down. _'Your feelings for the Colonel have always been obvious, brother. Even to me, I hope that you can come to terms with them and one day admit the truth. Alphonse'. _"The frame was a gift?"

"Yeah..."Ed confirmed "He must've known, that I would want to keep your picture...it was the only empty one."

"You broke it."

"Yeeeaaahh. There were these birds outside my window. They were chirping like crazy and it was annoying!" Roy shook his head and shoved the note back into his pocket.

"I don't understand why you'd want to keep it. The picture I mean."

"You know why."

"Well now I know, I just don't understand."

"I kept it for the same reason you crossed the gate. There wasn't any logic behind it, you should know as well as any body that feelings aren't always logical. People do crazy things for the ones they love."

"Where do we go from here?"

"I don't know." Ed was now staring deeply into Roy's eyes, and the older man was gazing just as intently. There seemed to be hidden mischief behind both looks. But before any one could contemplate about what it was Ed changed the subject, adverting his eyes quickly "I can't believe you bought that tie."

"Why not? You said I looked good in it. Unless of course you were just tricking me into wearing something foolish. But you wouldn't do that to me, right?" Roy leaned his chin in the palm of one hand, as he continued to observe the blond. He was pleased to see how flushed Edward had become, he almost matched a tomato. Almost. He would surely fix that very soon. "You're blushing."

"I am not! You're seeing things!" just as Roy predicted that only deepened the hue of red on Edward's face, it was quite adorable.

"You didn't let me finish. I was also going to add that red has always suited you."

"Oh shut up! That's just retarded!!" Roy reached out and placed his finger on Ed's lips, effectively silencing him and whatever other rants he had coming.

"People are beginning to look, hush." He looked around before inching closer to Edward, their faces were only a breath a part. He idly traced his index finger along Ed's lips, it was a feather light touch, yet it evoked a fire within the younger man. A fire he'd known all too well. A lust he thought only existed in his dreams, sitting there now proved him otherwise.

The man in his dreams, the same man sitting in front of him now, teasing him, urging him on...knew just how to toy with him. But also how to satisfy him, how to make every bone left in him yearn and beg for his touch. He wanted more, God how he wanted more. There had been a time when he wasn't tainted with such perverted thoughts, but he couldn't recall when. And it didn't matter any more.

Before he knew it, his lips met with Roy's. Very softly, even though his feelings were raging inside. He managed to pin them down, he reached around and placed his metal hand on the back of Roy's neck. He felt him twitch, obviously at the coldness of the metal but it did not cease them from making out. Their tongues intertwined, passionately, rhythmically before they pulled a part panting.

"I still have no idea what this means."

"Neither do I."

"Then how do you know this is right?"

"I don't, Edward. But nothing has ever felt more right to me than this moment."

"It's not a dream."

"No." He leaned over and gave the blonde a peck on the cheek "But it feels like one."

**Review Responses for Chapter 6**

**EmoNekoNinja: The birds did it. Lol.**

**Kakashi'sGirl101: You're not demanding too much. Besides isn't that what we all really want? Special moments between Roy and Ed. **

**anmbcuconnfan: You're too smart!! You were right on, he totally wore the tie coz that's what it was meant for.**

**Paon: I think there's a few good ones in there. Although I could have made it better I think.**

**Verscilith: OO Such glompage...not used to being glomped. Any way. Thanks I'm glad you like it.**


	8. My Love is vengeance

**A/N: Bloody hell, people. That's all I need in my bag of frustration right now. I apologize for those of you waiting for this update. I told you I had no flippin clue where I was gonna go with this story and I still don't. I really just want to trash the whole thing and start over, but I feel like that would be a waste of both my time and yours. Between my last update and now I lost my connection, I had no will to write and my cat died. So there went almost a month of doing nothing, and yet here's another chapter of drama filling for you. I apologize again for making you wait. **

The sun had barely caressed the horizon in shades of blue, yellow and purple when Edward looked out his window. The very same window he'd seen those chattering birds only a few days ago. He stretched out his arms while yawning, not having slept all night. He'd simply been waiting for his inevitable, groggy morning routine to present itself. His mind had been racing over that date, or rather...the kiss.

He wondered what it would have been like to kiss the colonel while they were still working together, how sleazy. Sneaking around, finding places to make out...but having to hide it away, that would have killed him. Even if they had gone home, right this moment...Edward didn't want it that way. He'd have been the one to break the news, he was tired of living in lies. Although, it didn't really stop him from avoiding the truth either.

He still wasn't ready to admit, or give himself over. And it was mostly now, because he was confused. Feeling like this was something Edward had almost grown accustomed to. Nothing was ever simple and clean. He spent his entire night, trying to decide what to do about Roy. In the end, all it cost him was his sanity and another night of sleep. He wanted to just jump into it head first, to trust the colonel. But how could he?

They'd left on a somber note. Why didn't Roy just ravish him right then and there? Instead of accepting that slap on the hand? Edward had too many questions, and not enough answers. He walked out of his room, over to the guest room and knocked on the door but there wasn't an answer. Not even a noise inside. Ed waited, but with every passing second he grew more worried. The doctors said he should rest for a while, stay indoors incase symptoms present themselves. Suddenly he was freaking out, and he tried the door handle but it was locked.

"Roy?!! Are you in there?!! Are you ok?!" He tried again and again to get the knob to just open. Before he could control himself, tears were rolling down his face as he frantically threw himself against the heavy wooden blockade. Over and Over he shoved himself against it, but it wouldn't budge. The one time, the one time he truly wished he could just clap his hands and do something...but he knew better, the effort would have been wasted. Finally, panting and exhausted, he figured the door was not the way to go.

There had to be an easier way in. He rushed out the front door of the place and spotted the window. It was a little higher off the ground than he would have liked. But without thinking it through he punched a hole in the glass with his automail. This was not a time for rational thought. The lock easily slid into the unlocked position without any protest, unlike the door. He then opened the window and climbed into it, and having forgotten that it was even higher off the floor than it appeared...tumbled onto the floor bringing glass with him.

His breathing was so heavy now, he almost felt out of shape and delusional. He looked around the room, his eyes welling with tears at the sight of Roy laying on the bed in what looked like a comatose. Or...

**Death**.

No. He had to be just sleeping, very heavily sleeping. Edward got to his feet and ran to Roy. He began vigorously shaking him. "Roy!!! Roy!!! Please wake up!! WAKE UP!!!" It seemed even the sound of his voice failed him. Everything was failing him, his thoughts, his feelings. And life was once again spinning out of control before he could even comprehend what the hell was going on. He wanted to try one more thing.

Without any hesitation, or thought to his actions he kissed the other man. And he stayed like that for a while, he was growing more frustrated though. Out of aggravation Ed deepened the kiss.

A rush of instant relief washed over him when he felt Roy's entire body stiffen. The older man pulled away, looking not only surprised but a bit delirious as well.

"What's going on?"

"I thought you were DEAD!!! The door was locked, I came in here to talk to you and it was locked and I didn't here anything. So I went around the front and I broke the window—"

"And then you came in here and ravenously made out with me to wake me up."

"Y-Yes. I believe that is how it happened."

"Wait. You were scared?"

"Yes! I thought you were dead!! I didn't know what was going on, and that damn mahogany door, I couldn't very well brake it! Believe me I tried!"

"I didn't mean to scare you, I was just really tired last night." Suddenly Roy realized that Ed had freaked out because of his own well being. That at that moment he'd dove in here ready to save the day. No, he hadn't changed at all, it was still willing to risk himself for the benefit of those he dearly cherished.

"What are you smirking for?"

"Oh nothing, just sit down for a moment, would you?" The blonde did as told and took a seat on Roy's bed. "You care for me more than you let on, you know."

"Shut up, I would have done the same if Al were in here. What if the house was on fire? Why was the door locked any way?"

"I..." Roy did not answer, instead he avoided the question, what a man did in the privacy of his bedroom was no business of any body else. And unlike Edward he couldn't just go take a cold shower and hope that it would go away.

"Look you're going to have to stop keeping secrets from me sooner or later. Why was the door locked?!"

"Persistent aren't you?"

"Damn ri—" once again the taller man took claim of Edward's lips, completely taking him off guard. And as stunned as he was it didn't take him long to respond with a kiss of his own. It was anything but subtle and delicate. Soon he found himself pinned against the guest bed, one he'd never even so much and touched until now. He found himself drowning in its silken sheets, which only added to his heightening euphoria.

All too soon, his tongue found it's way into the colonel's mouth and thy were both letting out groans. Without words, Roy had explained what happened to him the night before. This uncontrollable wave of lust had a terrible grip on both of them. But neither really cared, they were basking in a hormone induced drug. Addicted to the way they made the other feel. Addicted to hands on bare warm flesh, and lips connecting, tongues entwining. Until they were left breathless and still hungry for more.

"I can't go...on like this..."

"Then..."

"The what, Edward?"

**A/N: AHA!!! I am preparing to be impaled through the heart for two things. One: Making you all wait for almost a month and two: giving you cliffie. Will they screw? I dunno, tune in on the next episode of ::plays corny soap opera music:: One Last Goodbye to find out! **

**Review Responses for Chapter 7:**

**Meekah Greenleaf: I am quite the dramatic author some times, hope it doesn't bother you. Heheh.**

**Hikari mizu: I am preparing to be glomped. Yay! **

**kashyuri: Here is your much wanted update and I thank you for telling me such things. I am very picky about what I say, especially with this story. Because it's a fanfic. I'm glad your pleased.**

**S0dapop: I'm glad you think so. I love thee.**

**E.Mahiru: Haven't decided. And probably not yet. I'm a big tease. And thank you for all of your reviews!! **

**Paon: Oh yes, there will be many more to come XD.**


	9. Love is Better Than

**A/N: oh my friggin GAWD! I'M ALIVE!! Please, please, please don't KILL ME. I know, it's been so long since the last update, you've probably all forgotten this little mediocre fanfic existed. But leaving off in the middle of that hot steamy kiss was probably the worst idea I've ever had. I'm terrible at hot kissy scenes and what have you. So it totally threw off the groove of the fanfic itself. And then "life" decided to intervene and I gave up on it, I really did. On any hope at all of making it something worth while. SO I am going to TRY once again, to solve this THING at last. And just, let it be as it is. I also want to thank any one who dropped a review or a watch, you've been great, this thing would be nothing without you. So as a gift, there is yet another RoyxEd fanart link in my profile!! As I always say, before I finish my pointless notes: I LOVE YOU ALL!! AND PLEASE DON'T COME TO MY HOUSE AND SLAUGHTER ME- THANK YOU!!**

The whole world could have came crumbling down, right in that moment. No one cared. Both males were being pulled deep into lust, trapped in its alluring spell. All Roy Mustang could think about was how badly he wanted to have Edward. How he had been waiting so long, how every thing in this moment seemed like a damn dream. He could only hope that it wasn't, that this wasn't some cruel taste of "the good life". He pulled away, looking straight into those smoldering honey colored eyes, Roy had never known what it was to have true happiness. He knew Ed didn't either. And right now, they both felt as if they were treading on some very thin ice. Happiness was not a place you could stay, and any moment, it might end.

"I want you..." Roy's husky deep voice sent shivers through the other's body. "I..._need_ to have you..."

"I-I..." a blush came across his face, even at the age of eighteen, he still seemed so innocent. "I...can't..."

"...why not...?" his pale fingers played with Edward's golden hair, the question in itself seemed so simple, but it wasn't. Roy really had no idea what he was asking for.

"I just can't..." suddenly he pushed Roy off and left the room, leaving the older man confused and bewildered, but what else was new? Edward began walking, fast, not even bothering to look behind him. If the Colonel was following him, he didn't want to know. It wasn't until he was a few blocks away, at an old lonely creek that he realized...Roy wasn't there. He felt guilty, even though there wasn't really anything to feel guilty about. It was his virginity, he could give it away to any one that he wanted to. He caught his reflection in the water, and stared at it, what did Roy see in him any way? If anything he was the better looking of the two of them, he could have any one he desired so...why Edward...? He should have felt honored that the great Colonel Mustang wanted to ravage him, but he didnt.

No. He certainly didn't feel that. Of all things, he was scared. He trusted Roy with his life, but not with his heart. Those were too very different things. Finally he took a seat in the grass while looking off to the west, where the sun was already setting for the evening. He yawned, thinking about his chances of sleeping for once. He sprawled himself out on the soft green grass and closed his eyes, sleep claimed him faster than he could resist it...

Roy looked out the window, night had come some time ago, and it had not brought Edward with it. Naturally he was concerned, but he also thought Edward had made it pretty clear that he didn't want to be near the colonel. But the hours dragged on and on, with still no sight of Edward. He couldn't take it any more, he could no longer contain his instinct to go rushing out to save the trouble-causing alchemist. It almost seemed as if it were his duty in life, other than secretly wishing and planning to become Fuhrer, but that phase had passed. Roy marched out of the house, going in the direction that Edward had left to. With every foot step, the anxiety had built. But dissapointment crushed all of that a few blocks away, when he discovered Edward fast asleep near an abandoned creek.

He quirked an eyebrow and approached the blond, gently nudging him with his polished boot. Edward woke slowly, loooking up to meet the dark eyes of the colonel. Another blush settled on his face, but it wasn't seen, due to the darkness surrounding them.

"What are you doing here, Edward?" he sat down next to the blond.

"I dunno. What are you doing here?" he hadn't meant it, but his tone was sharp.

"I was looking for you, shrimp."

"Who are you calling so small a tiny pebble looks like a giant mountain to them?!"

"Calm down, Ed. It was just a joke."

"Yeah, thats what they all say. Just trying to cover your ass, because I'm **not **short!!"

"We need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"There's **always** something to talk about as long as it involves you."

"What does that mean?!"

"You're a virgin, aren't you?"

"Did it really take all of your military education to figure that one out?"

"I should have realized it earlier. But, I was distracted. You disguised it well."

"Gee thanks, is that meant to be a compliment?"

"Stop it!" he flinched at the sound of Roy's voice, and finally went silent. He'd gone too far with that, and now he was prepared to feel the wrath of Roy Mustang, except...nothing happened. It was dead silent, minus the sounds of a few chirping crickets and belching frogs. Edward blinked as two firm arms wrapped around him, he wasn't sure what to make of it. Roy was..._nuzzling_ him.

"Er...R-roy...?" there was no answer, so Edward decided to just give up and enjoy it. He laid his head against Roy's chest, feeling sleepy again. Edward's eyes looked to the heavens, where all the stars twinkled. That was the reason he'd come here, he missed his home in Risembool, and this small little hidden creek was the only thing close to it. Other than Alphonse of course. Where was his brother any way? Ever since Roy had decided to invade their lives he had been seeing his sibling less and less. Although, he assumed it was because his brother probably didn't want to walk in on whatever mischief Roy and Ed could get themselves into.He knew as well as anybody how cunning and unpredictable the older man was. "I...I didn't mean to freak out..."

"I know...its fine."

"Roy...?"

"...yes..?"

"Do you love me...?"

"That question is absurd, you already know the answer."

"You haven't said it, how am I supposed to know something if you don't say it?"

"You read inbetween the lines."

"Just answer already!!"

"...yes..."

"Say it."

"Say what?"

"That you love me!!" Edward was filled with annoyance now, because Roy was being dense on pourpose. He watched curiously as the black haired man observed the stars, still not answering. "You're a jerk."

"It is a lot harder to say those words than I remember..." He took a deep breath while also taking his time. His voice went quiet again "...I love you..."

"I love you too...I have always loved you..."

"Heh, heh."

"What are you being smug about now, Mustang?!"

"I remember when you _called_ me. Nervous wreck."

"Shut up!" Roy ruffled Ed's hair playfully and kissed the blonds cheek gently before gazing at the night sky again.

"Reminds you of home, doesn't it...?"

"...yeah...some times I wonder if I'll ever get to go back.."

"You will."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

**A/N: All right, just putting it out there thatI don't have an internet connection, so the next update might be awhie. But not as long as this one took haha. I have ideas now! GASP! **


	10. Be My Escape

**A/N: yaaaaaay! Another updaaaaate! So, I went to this tiny little Anime convention that's been running in Fresno for about 3 years. I got to meet Vic. That was pretty cool, my cousin purchased his new CD for me, MetaFiction. Currently I'm deafening myself to "Hello Beautiful". Which is like this super love song. Him and his Barry Manello influences XD. Any way, for some reason, meeting Edward's voice actor made me kind of...awkward. About the whole EdwardxRoy thing. I'm not sure why, but I'm over it now. And back to writing my smutty little fic. I'm a horrible person. **

Fast asleep, under warm silken covers. Lost in a little dream land all his own, was the Colonel. And watching from the door way of the guest bedroom, with a strange fire in his eyes, was Edward. He seemed so taken by the other man's features. The moonlight only amplified the effect of Roy's pale skin, and black hair. He seemed so peaceful, Edward was almost sad he would ruin it. If he could just gather up the courage to walk over, to make his legs move, this would be much easier. But he was frozen in his place. Gazing with awe. It made him wonder about his past with this man. Their fate had been tied since that one night. That one fateful night. When everything changed, and at least five years of his life had been dedicated to returning everything back the way it was. Even now, it didn't feel right. He longed to be home, his real home. Finally he took careful quite steps to Roy, until he reached the bed side. There was just enough room for him to sneak into the bed, so he watched the other man for a little longer, to make sure he was still asleep.

Very slowly, he climbed onto the bed and under the blankets. How he had done that without waking Roy was sheer luck. He scooted closer, until there wasn't any room between the two of them, and listened to the sound of his breathing. It was soothing. Like a lullaby. Without meaning to, he nuzzled against the other man. He caught his scent, it was so distinct. Although...there was something missing from it. Something he couldn't quite put his finger on. He continued to sniff Roy, trying desperately to figure out what it was. But alas, he just couldn't think of it. He decided when morning came he would have to ask about that. The concern drifted from him though, as he fell into a deep sleep at last content with the things were...for now.

A few hours later, Ed awoke again, and it was still dark out. He was upset he hadn't slept the whole night through, he was so comfortable he was sure he would have. He only felt worse when he turned to find that Roy was gone. He assumed Roy's eternal clock was probably still off from the fact that the man had just crossed into another dimension only a few weeks ago, but surely he would have adjusted by now. Edward was starting to get concerned again. And that awful feeling came back. So he got out of the guest bed and started looking around. He checked the kitchen, and the living room, and found no sign of Roy or his brother. He let out a sigh and finally went into his own room and what he found stole the breath from his very lungs. At his own window, was Roy on his knees, some kind of pistol in his hands.

"Roy...? What...what are you doing...?

"This has to be done..."

"Why...? What the hell are you rambling about...?

"I'm nothing but a heartless soldier, you could never love me." Something about this didn't seem right. He wasn't really answering Edward, it just didn't make sense.

"That's the past now, why does it matter..?"

"I'm sorry." Edward was beyond confused now, even though he knew the Ishbal war haunted the Colonel...it still didn't fit what was going on. He felt as if he was trying to piece together a jigsaw puzzle with all the wrong pieces. He marched up to Roy and firmly grabbed his arm, clamping down as tight as he could, but the other male seemed completely unaffected by the action. With his other hand, Roy brought the pistol to the side of his head, staring out the window like Edward didn't even exist. That was when Edward started screaming, as loud as he could trying to make Roy stop, but no sounds came forth. Only silence as the seconds passed. He was still clinging tightly, yanking on Roy's arm with such force he heard a snap. But still, still Roy did not budge at all, not even to take a breath. Finally he spoke again, in surreal tone "This is...my One Last Goodbye."

His finger gripped the trigger and pulled it hard, The last thing Edward heard, was a very clear gun shot, before everything went dark...

A small groan escaped Roy, as light from the window burned right into eyes. He would have brought his hand up to shield himself, but found it trapped under something...or rather some one. He looked over in surprise to find Edward, sleeping away. He was making little noises and mumbling. Roy blinked a few times before shaking him with his free hand.

"Edward...Wake up." the other males golden eyes finally opened up, and relief seemed to sweep over him. He sat up instantly and hugged Roy.

"It was just a dream...just a dream.."

"...I heard you mumbling."

"It's nothing...forget it, okay?"

"...What was it about...?"

"I said forget it." Edward said, a little harser this time, but he didn't let go of Roy. "Say...Roy..." he pulled away only slightly, just so that he could look into the other's eyes.

"Hm...?"

"When I came...into your bed last night, I noticed something...about your scent."

"My scent...?"

"Yeah...something's missing."

"I don't you think have any idea how strange that sounds."

"Just...hear me out. Before...when we worked together, I always smelt a very light cologne, and something else. But it was really faint. I still smell the cologne, but the other scent is entirely gone." Edward gazed at Roy, watching his expression change. It was cute, seeing Roy in such deep thought, with his eyes brows slightly drawn in, his jaw perfectly set. After a long pause he finally looked back at Ed.

"I know what it was. It might have been sulfur."

"Seriously?"

"It's the only thing I can think of...but that's still a little creepy, Ed."

"Whaat?"

"You shouldn't know the exact scent of your commanding officer."

"Hmph. So what?"

"I wonder...how far your obsession goes."

"I'm not obsessed!"

"What color are my eyes?"

"Pfft. That's easy! They're blue."

"But you shouldn't know that." Roy was teasing him now, and enjoying it too. He gently poked at Ed's sides, prodding him with his pale fingers "I'll stop teasing if you tell me what the dream was about." Instantly Edward was squirming, biting his lip in order to stiffle a laugh.

"N-never!" the prodding stopped almost as soon as it had started, and he gazed up to meet Roy's eyes. He saw so much concern gleaming in them, it took him by surprize. He sighed quietly when Roy put a hand on his cheek.

"You know that I am not in the habit of begging any one for anything...but I will, because I think this dream was about me. Am I correct?" Damn Mustang, why did he have to read Edward like an open book? Instantly the blond adverted his eyes, staring at the blank wall instead.

"Yes...it was..."his breath hitched as the images resurfaced in his mind "I was still sleeping in here...and I woke up, but you weren't in here. So I looked every where, before coming to my bedroom...and..there you were. On your knees in front of my window, with a gun in your hands..."by this time Ed's voice had dropped to a faint whisper, and he was fighting back tears. "You kep teeling me it had to be done, and I could never love you...I tried to convince you not to, but you didn't really hear me. Then...you...you put the gun against your head..." Roy was absolutely dead silent, there were a thousand unnamed emotions swimming through him, and he couldn't tell them apart. He pulled Edward against him, in a warm embrace. "...you...you have to promise...you won't leave me..."

"Why would I do that...?"

"I don't know okay?! Just promise!"

"I promise, that I won't leave you."

"Good." They both let out a sigh of relief at the same moment. "I know it sounds stupid."

"Its not." He kissed the blond on the forehead, then trailed down his nose before claiming him fully on the lips. He felt a little sad when Edward broke away to speak.

"Roy...?"

"Yes, Edward?"

"...please...take me.."

"Right now?" He nodded, he was sure. The moment could not be more perfect.

**A/N: Sulfur is what matches are made from. Although generally you can only smell it when the match is struck. Hence Edward's "obsession". I always think that if Ed did crush on some one, it would be to the point of obsession. But he would never once show it. I'm not sure how some one would accomplish that, but whatever. It's cute. That's all I need to know. **


	11. You're All I Need

**A/N: So here it is. What you've all been waiting for. I've been flirting with their sex scene for some time and I think you're all sick of it hehe. I am too, honestly. I think holding out for 11 chapters isn't long at all. Especially when they're only 3-4 pages long. At some point, I want to start a new fic, so I'm fairly sure I'm going to end this one. I had a feeling it would be short when I started it. I'm shocked its gone this far. I hope all of you enjoyed it!**

"ahhh...ahhhh!!" he was already panting, sweat trickling down his forehead as his back arched up. Pleasure washing over every muscle as Roy's hand pumped his erection faster and faster. His hips buckling wildly out of control. He needed this ecstasy in order to forget everything. "Please...please..."

"Please what...?" Roy's voice was low and husky again, and just like before it sent shivers through Edward's already trembling body. He threw his head back, moaning loudly, completely lost in bliss.

"Please...R-roooy..." he tried to act like begging for this bothered him, but failed miserably. He was long past caring, he just wanted release. Edward thought he might die without it. "ahhhh...Roy!!" the other male was watching as Ed thrashed about, enjoying the sight. A playful smirk was on his lips, he knew precisely what he was doing. He had the other right on the brink of a climax, and he was drawing it out as long as possible. A thought crossed his mind about how this might be considered torture, but he quickly forgot about it when Ed started moaning again. "I...I'm...s-so close..."

"Maybe I should stop...?"

"N-no! Please...d-don't...stop! I...I need this..." he was gasping for air, feeling so incredibly hot and sweaty. Both of his hands gripped the silken sheets, as he rode another wave of pleasure. His moans some how getting even louder than before. And then it hit him, with one last cry of Roy's name his entire body became tense before a spasm ripped through to his very soul. All he could do was lay there, totally wasted and panting. Never in his life had he ever felt anything like that, all he could do was bask for a minute. He lazily opened his eyes, flushing slightly when he noticed that Roy was gazing at him. "Th-that...was...wonderful.."

"Was it..?"

"Y-yes.."

"It's going to happen again."

"W-what...?! Is that...even possible?"

"Oh yes. It is more than possible. I have something up my sleeve. Metaphorically...I'm no longer wearing a shirt."

"You always have a plan don't you?"

"Always." Roy's hands were now on the shorter male's hips. He leaned down, and began kissing Edward's neck, sucking so hard he left bruises. Already moans met his ears. Getting Edward worked up for a second time wouldn't be a challenge at all. Roy continued kissing down his neck and chest, then he ventured further, finding all of his weak spots as he went along. Roy was even memorizing them, but not intentionally. Finally he made his way back to Ed's manhood. He placed one hand at the base, just before bringing it into his mouth. Edward's back arched up a second time as warmth flooded into him, that was all it took to get him hard.

He was in utter disbelief for a few minutes, but it was ancient history as soon as Roy started sucking on him. He couldn't even manage to get a moan out. That action alone had stolen his voice. He felt the other male pull back, only to take him back in. He was starting to think there wasn't any possible way for this to feel better. He was burning to the core with ecstasy and lust. Roy sucked harder, delighting in the noises Edward made, for him and only him. Ed's flesh fingers found his black hair and grasped it tightly, nearly clawing at Roy's scalp, moan after moan escaping those soft lips. His hips rocked gently into Roy's mouth, a soft but chaotic rhythm. Small spasms were going through Ed's body, the pleasure erasing away any thoughts at all.

"ooohh...Roooy...!!" just when he let that moan out, Roy pulled away. "Why...why did you stop..?"

"Because I still have to take you, remember...?"

"But...I...really...liked that."

"There's always tomorrow ..look...are you sure about this?"

"Why are you asking me that?! I'm laying here...naked...waiting for it."

"I'm just worried."

"You? Roy Mustang?"

"Just listen...first off, it's going to hurt, a lot...and also...if we rush into this, I don't want you to regret it."

"I won't."

"How do you know that?"

"Because its you, Roy...Do you have any idea how long I've loved you...? How often I...I...dreamt about this?" he shook his head "I want this...I want _you_." he nodded, and reached down to push Edward's legs apart. He settled himself in between, and held his length at the other's entrance. He took one last breath before slowly entering. He watched Edward carefully, who was gritting his teeth in pain. He brought his arms around Roy, clutching at the older man's bare skin. The further Roy went in, the more it hurt. He now realized why the other had hesitated. At last, Roy was fully inside and he struggled with controlling himself. He gently started to stroke Edward's erection, trying to distract him from the pain. Finally the blond moaned again, he took that as good sign and proceeded further. His hips slowly moving, setting the rhythm. "nghhh...Roy...harder..." he obeyed, holding Ed's hips as he did so.

Roy pulled out a little further and angled his next thrust hitting a spot inside the other that made him cry out. And every time Roy pulled back he felt a little empty, but every time he re-entered he felt whole. He knew Roy was holding back though, and that slightly discouraged him. "R-roy...s-stop treating me like a child...it doesn't hurt...it...it feels good ..please...harder..."

"I...might hurt you..."

"Just do it..." Roy gave in, not having the strength to fight Edward and his carnal instincts at the same time. "Ohhh!! Roy! Right there!! Ahhh! Ahhhh!!" he was panting for air again, drenched in sweat as he bucked against Roy, meeting him thrust for thrust. He tried to pull Roy closer, but only caused the black haired man to collapse onto him. It didn't stop them though, in fact Roy instantly pulled Edward against him, not bothered at all by the feel of the cold automail pressed just below his shoulder blade. They were skin to skin, sweating and panting as one. Little groans were slipping past Roy's lips as Ed continued to call out his name. "...nnggh...harder...harder!!" again, Roy obeyed. Pounding into Edward as hard as he could, finally letting loose. All thoughts vanished from his head, nothing but this moment existed. It was just him and Ed, making love.

Edward, however, had thrown his thoughts out a long time ago. Especially because Roy kept finding that damn spot. Every time he hit it, he was swept away with bliss and nothing else mattered. "R-roy..." he could feel his climax building again. It was too soon, he didn't want this to ever end. Something was going on here that nothing could ever explain. And...that was more than okay with Edward, who generally sought out an answer for everything. The two males continued to rock against each other simultaneously in perfect timing. "I...I'm...going to..." He didn't even get a chance to finish the sentence, he came hard, shuddering and moaning. In the same moment, Roy came too, collapsing onto the other male when he finished. Poor Ed lay there, practically being crushed under Roy's weight, but he couldn't actually do anything about it.

They were both officially exhausted, still basking in the after glow of what they had just done. After a few minutes, Roy finally rolled off of Ed, and laid next to him. He tried to recall the last time he had a sexual experience that good, and found that nothing measured in comparison. He smiled faintly to himself, content with that for some reason. "Roy...I...love you..."

"I love you too..." Ed scooted closer and rested his head on Roy's chest, both males fell fast asleep in no time at all.

Later, Roy finally climbed out of bed and got dressed, having discovered he had slept well into the afternoon. Which was unusual for him. The only way he could fix that was by actually getting dressed and going about his routine. He wandered into the kitchen, seeing Alphonse with his nose stuffed in a book at the table amused him.

"Finally returned have you?"

"Hm..? Oh. Yes. I wanted to give brother some alone time with you. Colonel...you look happy, so I assume something good happened."

"Indeed."

"Aren't you going to tell me?"

"You'll understand some day, Alphonse." He took the news paper and went into the living room with it. Not realizing that the younger Elric had followed him in there.

"Something really good must have happened!"

"Alphonse, drop the subject. I refuse to have this conversation with you."

"But why? Brother would tell me. That's it!" before he could react Al rushed into the guest bedroom, only to find that his brother was still dead asleep. He sighed, knowing that Edward was a pretty heavy sleeper. He almost left, but halted when he heard strange noises coming from Edward. He tip-toed over and listened intently.

"nnghh...Roy...take me again..." with that Al marched out of the bedroom straight back to Roy.

"I know what you did."

"You're just as persistent aren't you?"

"Before you came here, brother was always dreaming about his first time with you. But now...he's dreaming about doing it, _again_."

"Yes. All right? Now can we leave the subject alone?"

"Yep." Roy let out a rather large sigh of relief, having narrowly escaped the 'birds-and-the-bees' talk. He thought that was better left for Ed to explain.

**A/N: so I was tempted to have Alphonse walk in on them but I decided to save his innocence, for now. I believe he knows a lot more than he leads on. Otherwise he would not have left them alone in a house together. Where they could have sex at any given time hah. I have about one more chapter left and then I think I'm gonna end it. I do have another fic in mind for FMA. I really do enjoy Roy and Ed. However, it might be a while before I post it because this time, I want to actually plan it out. That way, we won't have a HALF A YEAR in between updates. Any way thanks for reading, leaving comments or whatever. I have one more fan art included in my profile. And I wish to give credit to Sophie, who is my cousin. Because the whole Roy committing suicide scene was taken from a role play with her. The other fan art was the cover for this story here. So yeah. **


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